Not The Biggest Loser

I just want to be…

So the 1st Jan has come and gone…and the Monday after the 1st Jan has also come and gone and I am no closer to being in control than I was.  I have an appointment next week for another fill. I really hope that helps. I need some serious restriction. SERIOUS.

Thanks for everyone’s advice. I really appreciate it and it’s nice knowing I have friends that care. I seriously need to look at the psychologist option and Nola I hear you on the walking but it is seriously hot here…seriously. If I could get myself up early then it might be easier. But with the broken sleep I’m having with my little one waking up all the time…it’s hard. I know that sounds like an excuse…I’m really hoping once this hot weather settles a bit I can start walking. I can’t really see me doing much else exercise wise at the moment.

I’m beating myself up constantly for eating crap and for not exercising which is not helping matters at all. I’m feeling rather down at the moment and it concerns me. I think I really need to start taking SAM-e again but I’m hesitant to do it while breastfeeding as there has been no research done on whether it is safe to take it while breastfeeding and even though I have a low supply and have to top up with formula, I really, really want to keep breastfeeding for as long as I can.  So I’m in between a rock and a hard place at the moment.  I know if I could start exercising I would feel a lot better about things and if I could get my eating in control.

Every part of my body is aching at the moment pretty much all the time. And if I get up and walk after sitting for awhile I have a serious waddle as my feet, ankles, calves, legs all hurt and it is becoming embarassing. I’ve never really felt I had a fat person’s walk but lately I think I do. Awful.

Will update after my fill to let you know how it goes…

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