Not The Biggest Loser

I just want to be…

Thanks for everyone’s comments. You know Nola it’s funny, because only this morning I was thinking that maybe I should stop worrying about what the accupuncturist says and what the doctor’s going to say and ask myself how I feel. I actually feel like I don’t need any more out of the band right now. I really do feel like I’m eating enough. In fact all I seem to do is eat all day, so I hate to think how I’d be without restriction! So I’ve decided to keep the band as it is for now.

I’m actually thinking of cancelling my accupuncturist appointment next week. I’m just not enjoying it (not sure if I’m supposed to). It is making me feel anxious before I go and the guilty when I get there and report I’m not doing things right oh and it hurts!  I’m a bit scared to stop going as I worry then if something happens and things go wrong that I’ll blame myself for not continuing with the accupuncture but in my heart of hearts I know I really don’t want to go anymore!

The nausea is extremely bad tonight. I keep burping up the taste of the fish oil tablet I took before dinner which is really not helping. Sorry if too much information!  The food thing is really weird and driving me crazy. I just do not feel like eating anything and yet I want to eat to try and help the nausea so I have this strange compulsion to eat while my body rejects every food I think about eating. Tonight was a bad night for it – I really couldn’t think of anything that didn’t make me feel sick. When I get like this I have to just think of something and make myself eat it. So I decided on fillet steak and mashed veg. So after I made it I pretty much forced every bite down. I really did not enjoy it, which is unusual for me. But I wanted the protein/iron from the steak and the goodness from the veg so I persisted. when I got the last 5 bites or so I couldn’t continue. I actually had to spit out a moutful and throw the rest out. Not because I was full but because I couldn’t stand the taste. Yet 2 days ago those veg were the best thing I could eat! And I’ve been eating steak ok till now too. Right now I never want to eat another steak or mashed veg ever again!  I may have to live off vegemite toast for the rest of this pregnancy. It’s about the only consistent thing I can eat.  Last night was the same. I had the taste for spaghetti bolognaise. I know now that if I actually do feel like eating something I should jump on it. So my husband made it for us and I ate a really big bowl and honestly could’ve eaten the whole pot of it last night. I kept thinking how I could maybe eat this for the rest of my pregnancy but today I had it for lunch and had to force it down and now the thought of it makes me sick. It’s bizarre.

Unfortunately I weighed myself this morning and I had put on another 0.3kg. But Nola is right and I not going to keep weighing myself every morning. It’s ridiculous. I’m scared I’ll get out of control if I don’t keep an eye on my weight, but hey it’s not exactly like I have control right now anyway.

Linda’s advice about just trying to concentrate on nutrition is good advice. Sometimes hard with the morning sickness, but I have been a lot better this week. I went grocery shopping tonight and had promised myself I wouldn’t buy anything sweet which I stuck to. It’s ridiculous really as the thought of anything sweet really does make me sick, but I have been persisting with eating it after dinner as I know that once it hits my mouth it will taste good and won’t actually make me feel sick…it’s just the thought of it. So I’ve suitably realised how ridiculous it is not to take advantage of this situation where I honestly don’t feel like sweet things and have made a pact to avoid them as much as possible. I missed something sweet after dinner tonight but I got over it quickly because thinking about eating it made me feel sick. I really am a strange one.

Ri – re the travel ginger – I will go check them out at the chemist. I am taking anti-nausea tablets which my accupuncturist gave me. I didn’t think they were working till I stopped them and it got a lot worse, so I think they do help a bit but not entirely. Maybe I’ll try the ginger too. I’ve hear that before, and have tried ginger tea but no help there!

Cat – awesome advice too. There’s not a lot out there on the internet about pregnancy and lapbands, but from what I’ve read people don’t seem to get that much taken out of their bands, so I’m going to trust myself and stick with what I have right now.

3 Responsed To This Post

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mygif_alt
Nola said, January 9th, 2009 at 7:12 pm

That’s it Rach…now you’re talkin’ !! Concentrate on nutrition and feeling healthy and well. Forget the acupuncture and all that jazz….you are doing just fine. Of course nothing will happen because you didn’t go to him!! That is how they get you feeling and it just shouldn’t be like that!! Now, if you are concerned about protein maybe try sipping at a protein shake of some description….even if it takes all day at least you will know you have got your daily dose into you. If you want to eat 2 bowls of spag bog….bloody well eat 2 bowls….because the way you are going, the next day you will probably eat next to nothing and then the next day all your meals will be the same thing…then the day after that just drinks….so it will all balance itself out in the end!!! Stop being such a worry wart!! I say that with love of course! :) Still try and get that 10 minute walk in though…I think that is important just to keep the circulation and wellbeing alive!

mygif
Nola said, January 9th, 2009 at 7:14 pm

Oh….and get that 2nd kitten!!!! Your poor little only child will thank you for the friend and then, when the baby comes, you won’t feel so guilty when you are time poor and not spending as much time with the cat because it will have it’s new brother/sister to play with in the NEW OUTDOOR area!! he, he AND IN THE MEANTIME….settling in the new member and decorating the new digs will keep your mind busy and away from feelings of hunger or nausea!!….brilliant!!!

mygif_alt
cranky said, January 20th, 2009 at 4:04 pm

Just walked back in from Vietnam but have to tell you my dietician’s tip for fish oli tablets = keep them in the freezer! If you take it when frozen no fish smell when you burp. Of course, I can’t confirm (vegetarian) but you could always switch to flaxseed oil for your Omega 3!

More later…

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